Name has been changed to protect the idiot. Note: I am not the idiot. I left my name as is.


Me: Hello, this is Allyson with your auto insurance company, calling about an accident you were involved in...
Person: I wasn't in an accident.
Me: Is this Mr. Martin?
Person: Yes.
Me: You reported that you were involved in an auto accident on February 24th.
Person: It wasn't an accident.
Me: Excuse me?
Person: I just tapped the rear of the other guy's bumper.
Me: Uh.... Okay... that's what we refer to as "an auto accident".
Person: But it was no big deal!
Me: Uh... yeah. Well, we'll go ahead and take care of the damage for you.
Person: That won't be necessary, there was only a dent in the bumper.
Me: Well, the other person wants that dent taken care of.
Person: YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! (Yelling and profanity and something about an illegal immigrant) I'm calling the President!
Me: The President?
Person: OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!
Me: Sir, you are at fault for this accident and we are legally obligated to repair the damages you caused. The President is not interested.
Person: We'll see about that. (Hangs up)