It is SO GOOD to feel so good. I feel so good lately. I mean, I do still have side effects, and probably will for some time. My neck hurts almost all the time-- that's due to scar tissue and the nerves in my neck compressing from the scar tissue. I still don't feel like I'm at 100%, but I feel damn good. I don't feel so short of breath and I don't feel so TIRED anymore. That's really nice.

What is freaky is that I still get sharp pains in my neck from time to time and I get a bit panicky and I reach up and feel the spot on my neck where my tumor used to be. Just to make sure it's not coming back. And there's never anything there, but it is still pretty scary. It's scary to hear stories of my fellow survivors relapsing and having to go through treatment all over again. That is very very frightening. I have moments of extreme fear and sadness. But those pass quickly as I remind myself not to let that feeling take over.

Yes, there is always the possibility that I will get cancer again. But all that means is that I have to go back into ass-kicking mode for the time being. There are times when I have to take a step back and get some perspective over my situation and remember what my job is on this planet. My job does not entail sitting here and being afraid. My job is, quite simply, to live. And live well.